Miriku's world-Urban Jungle

[asya173]

Mental World Description
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Edit: Okay, I'm gonna start ALL over on this one.

Character’s Name: Miriku Okami of the Hoshi clan.

Look of Door: Navy blue, with little yellow dots all over it. And a big white one. So, basically, it looks like the night sky.

Name of Mental World: Urban jungle.

Look of Censors: They look like Tarzan...wearing a tie. XD

Basic Layout: A jungle with the occasional skyscraper,where many of the censors live. All of the leaves and foliage are a sapphire color, though. Some of the trees are really skyscrapers with leaves coming out of the top. There are vines and ziplines to travel around on. There are also two little villages on the ground. One is inhabited by Lupeople, anthromorphic wolves, who are trying to restore the forest to it's original, non-skyscraper state, which never even existed in the first place. They have very primitive technology, though. The other one is inhabited by humans, who insist on getting rid of the forest completly to create a metropolis of some sort. The humans have modern technology.

Important People: Everyone in this mind is either an anthromorphic wolf wearing clothes, or a human.

Miriku: Yes, Miriku. She's often here, much like Sasha Nein and his mind. Miriku often retreats here to meditate or train, far away from the villages. The lupeople would kill her because she's human, and the humans would kill her because she is familiar with wolves.

Baldwin: A very strong luperson. He is very helpful and often patrolls the forest. He's trying to bring peace between the two sides, but to no avail, and no followers. To help you survive, he gives people who just arrived into the mind wolf costumes to wear in lupeople territorry so you won't get crushed.

Sinbad: The immature, 12-year-old leader of the lupeople. He's the one who wanted them to attack the humans for destroying their beautiful forest, which has always been in the state that it is currently.

Dennis the great: The extremely old person that rules over the humans, encouringing them to make more skyscrapers because, appearantly, "The state of the forest is decrepit, and we need to fix it." However, the forest is in perfect shape.

Costume Changes: Nope. None whatsoever. Your clothing may be a little more messed up, though...

Basic Plot: Lupeople (what I have dubbed the anthromorphic wolf people) vs. Humans. The lupeople are trying to stop the humans, and vice versa. Pick whatever side you'd like.

Reasoning for Mental World: Miriku had, for some reason or another, been raised by wolves for the first year or somethng of her life, before she was found by her 'dad', and ever since, she has had trouble figuring out what to do. Follow the instincts of the wolves that kept her alive, or be a semi-normal, civilized human? She has kept them balanced for the most part, but now it's starting to get out of hand.

[Zahzu]

Hello again!
It's good to see you getting around to sorting things out so quickly, but unfortunately at the same time it's not always good to be a rush. We've again noticed some issues that we'd like you to work on.

Your character's mental world really has... Virtually no substance to it. We'd like you to add a lot more description to it- What exactly the world looks like, what makes it unique, what kinds of areas are there... What, in-depth, do the inhabitants look and behave like? If there's a fight going on and you look like a werewolf when you enter, do all the ninjas attack you? Give us a vivid idea of what exactly our characters might encounter in this world.

On the same note, your story could use more of a plot. I understand there's a war, right? Why? Explain why the war started, what's going on, and tell us how they're fighting it. You have virtually no information so, for all we know, the nijnas could be going into war wearing ballerina suits and driving tanks rather than actually being ninja-like. The more information you add, the better it'll be.

Most important thing! Miriku's mind MUST have some sort of reasoning. You shouldn't base it simply on things you like- If you're playing Miriku as an actual character, she needs to be her own person, so you should try to distance yourself from her. As another member told me, it should be in her own point of view- If she had experienced some kind of trauma in her life, what effect would it have on her mind? If she loves wolves and loves ninjas then why would the two be fighting? Could it be that she's conflicted on which part of herself she should become?
A mental world should be very symbolic and uniquely tailored for your character. And, typically, it's going to take a lot of thought. I know that with my own character, Gustav, I literally spent weeks working on little details to add. Just small things that reflected off his past, the traumatic things he faced (although his were pretty minor, really), stuff like that. I know I spent at least 3 hours straight brainstorming stuff for his mind with another of the members of this site- There are so many little things you can work in there and the more you do, the more meaningful the mind will be and (hopefully) the more you'll relate to the character. With the way your mind is now I really can't relate to her at all, so both I and my characters would be pretty confused if we entered the area. Try to think about that when you're writing!
It's alright to put some things about yourself into the character- Every single one of my characters has something I can relate to myself- But try not to let your own preferences and such completely overpower the character.

Hopefully that all made sense, ha ha! I think I got a bit enveloped in my thoughts for a while. XD
Take these things into account and revise this when you get the time. Once you get it up to par then you will be able to join in mental world-related roleplays. Until then we just don't know enough from this (as it is) to allow people to go inside.
Of course, you don't HAVE to participate in the mental world RPs, but if at some point you do wish to then this must be updated beforehand.

Good luck once again!

[asya173]

AH. Hookay...right.

[Zahzu]

Oh, now THIS is an improvement! Urban jungle- That's awesome!! I love the concept! 8DD

I'm going to talk to the others and see what they say about it!

[asya173]

Thanks! ^-^